OK... so you have been painfully divorced... or just want a new relationship with Mr. or Ms. Rich who Loves-Me-Just-the-Way-I-Am...
Here is another way you can reflect on before you seek your next relationship or leave the relationship you are now in...
7 Keys to Love is based on the philosophical premise that conscious, inner-love can lead to loving communication, healing in families, loving-creative-communities and a loving-creative-sustainable world.
As I continue my life experiences and research on love, I have grown to understand there are at least two different philosophies about relationships.
I have seen that couples often start-out in love, and then, as daily living continues, they discover differences and difficulties that can then lead to upset, and the eroding of love.
Life and love challenges may include the behavior of children, child rearing practices, not having enough money, religious perspectives, relationship with family and friends, use of potentially addictive substances and processes, living location, living arrangements, and many more.
After issues arise, some couples decide to go to counseling, but counseling often fails to resolve all the issues fully, and may lead to breaking-up when one or both people become scared, frustrated or stop believing love and communication can help them through their difficulties.
The individuals often turn to "upgrading" their relationship to find people more like them, and/or with more money, thinking that will solve their problems.
Unfortunately, they may gain more similarity and money, but it is actually leading to more exclusivity, and becoming more isolated from the rest of the world – happily living with greater luxury, or within their particular religion – yet the rest of the world continues to crumble around them – but that is not their problem, thank you...
In reality – things are often not as they seem – their relationships are often loveless, devoid of sweetness, inclusiveness and generosity.
Here is another way you can reflect on before you seek your next relationship or leave the relationship you are now in...
7 Keys to Love is based on the philosophical premise that conscious, inner-love can lead to loving communication, healing in families, loving-creative-communities and a loving-creative-sustainable world.
As I continue my life experiences and research on love, I have grown to understand there are at least two different philosophies about relationships.
I have seen that couples often start-out in love, and then, as daily living continues, they discover differences and difficulties that can then lead to upset, and the eroding of love.
Life and love challenges may include the behavior of children, child rearing practices, not having enough money, religious perspectives, relationship with family and friends, use of potentially addictive substances and processes, living location, living arrangements, and many more.
After issues arise, some couples decide to go to counseling, but counseling often fails to resolve all the issues fully, and may lead to breaking-up when one or both people become scared, frustrated or stop believing love and communication can help them through their difficulties.
The individuals often turn to "upgrading" their relationship to find people more like them, and/or with more money, thinking that will solve their problems.
Unfortunately, they may gain more similarity and money, but it is actually leading to more exclusivity, and becoming more isolated from the rest of the world – happily living with greater luxury, or within their particular religion – yet the rest of the world continues to crumble around them – but that is not their problem, thank you...
In reality – things are often not as they seem – their relationships are often loveless, devoid of sweetness, inclusiveness and generosity.
* * *
Coming from my education and training in Furthering Human Potential and Transformation, I have a different way of thinking about relationships, a Philosophy of Loving Relationships.
In my model, I think once a loving couple has basic sweet love, that the differences and difficulties that arise can be VIEWED CONSCIOUSLY, as part of the process of JUST GENTLY NOTICING – of AHA moments and discoveries – that can lead to transformation and deeper, sweeter and more enlightened love.
In my philosophy of love, differences and difficulties are a potential source for growth and development for the individuals, the couple, the family as a whole, and even the community.
The differences and difficulties are wonderful opportunities to grow and evolve further in consciousness and love, if the couple has the necessary LOVE QUALITIES present in their relationship.
If these qualities are not present, the relationship will undoubtedly fail.
These helpful qualities need to be nurtured and cultivated in the relationship to ensure that long-term loving relationships can thrive.
They need to be strengthened to PROTECT LOVE from the many challenges that will erode love in a couple because the challenges are many.
CONSCIOUS-AWARENESS, COMMITMENT, COURAGE TO CHANGE and COMPASSION are needed first, and need to be cultivated to be able to engage fully in solution finding and a transformation process needed for couples to survive in a super-challenging world.
The couple can then have these LOVE ALLIES in Conscious-Awareness, Commitment, Courage to Change, and Compassion to engage in CONSCIOUS, MEANINGFUL DIALOG to create Greater and Greater Understanding, which allows even deeper love to blossom.
In my model, I think once a loving couple has basic sweet love, that the differences and difficulties that arise can be VIEWED CONSCIOUSLY, as part of the process of JUST GENTLY NOTICING – of AHA moments and discoveries – that can lead to transformation and deeper, sweeter and more enlightened love.
In my philosophy of love, differences and difficulties are a potential source for growth and development for the individuals, the couple, the family as a whole, and even the community.
The differences and difficulties are wonderful opportunities to grow and evolve further in consciousness and love, if the couple has the necessary LOVE QUALITIES present in their relationship.
If these qualities are not present, the relationship will undoubtedly fail.
These helpful qualities need to be nurtured and cultivated in the relationship to ensure that long-term loving relationships can thrive.
They need to be strengthened to PROTECT LOVE from the many challenges that will erode love in a couple because the challenges are many.
CONSCIOUS-AWARENESS, COMMITMENT, COURAGE TO CHANGE and COMPASSION are needed first, and need to be cultivated to be able to engage fully in solution finding and a transformation process needed for couples to survive in a super-challenging world.
The couple can then have these LOVE ALLIES in Conscious-Awareness, Commitment, Courage to Change, and Compassion to engage in CONSCIOUS, MEANINGFUL DIALOG to create Greater and Greater Understanding, which allows even deeper love to blossom.
This can only occur when a couple is committed to staying together and growing, including changing and transforming individually, and in the ways they relate and do things.
This model needs to be discussed at the beginning of any relationship you may enter, before you fully become involved with a potential partner.
It will prevent you getting into a relationship where disappointment sets-in when differences and difficulties arise, and then the Enemies of Love – Competition, Comparison with Others, Cunning, Calculation, and Coldness – sabotage the relationship.
This model needs to be discussed at the beginning of any relationship you may enter, before you fully become involved with a potential partner.
It will prevent you getting into a relationship where disappointment sets-in when differences and difficulties arise, and then the Enemies of Love – Competition, Comparison with Others, Cunning, Calculation, and Coldness – sabotage the relationship.
Conscious-Awareness, Commitment, Courage to Change, Compassion, Co-empowerment, Collaboration and Co-creativity are the LOVE ALLIES & QUALITIES we all need to cultivate in our love-life if we are to gain deeper understanding and sweeter love, and if love is to thrive on Earth, enabling us to co-create a new evolved, sustainable civilization.
I hope this helps you create Sustainable Love that can help humanity continue its quest for more consciousness, wisdom, love, creativity, and abundance for all in harmony with nature and the Earth as a whole.
May peace and love prevail in our relationships and on Earth.
I hope this helps you create Sustainable Love that can help humanity continue its quest for more consciousness, wisdom, love, creativity, and abundance for all in harmony with nature and the Earth as a whole.
May peace and love prevail in our relationships and on Earth.
* * *
Sandy Hinden is author of 7 Keys to Love - Opening Love's Door to Joy & Well-being, and is executive director of the Dix Hills Performing Arts Center and the John Lennon Center for Music & Technology at Five Towns College. He has helped the world for 35 years through community development, the environment, the arts, education, health and human services, peace-making, fundraising, marketing and community relations.
For the book 7 Keys to Love, keynote speeches, lectures, workshops or interviews contact:
Sanford Hinden
sandyhinden@7keystolove.net
Skype: Sanford.Hinden
1-516-815-4967
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