TRANSFORMING THE WORLD WITH LOVE

US Department of Peace Campaign

Why do we all need personal, interpersonal, family, community and world love?

With 7 Keys to Love we are healing our broken hearts and lovingly co-creating a world that works for all, and works with nature. We are transforming the world with love. 

We have seen that most men and women grew up being disconnected and became self-centered. By being self-centered, and sometimes even selfish men and women, they often serve only their God of Jesus or Mohammed or Yahwey or Krishna or Buddha, or other names for divinity, or they only serve their family, or only themselves.

They end up hurting each other, the community and the world through their accumulation of personal wealth and not sharing it with the community. They may spend their life going on many dream escapes in luxury vacations and retirement villages, or dream of doing so, if they had the means.

The religions also need love so they will finally stop their cold and hot wars, accept each other, live peacefully together, and preserve the Earth as a sacred place.

Most men and women need to be loved and healed, and turn into real leaders in their community. Our work with 7 Keys to Love with leaders, workers, educators, social workers, clergy, therapists, families and communities throughout the world is to transform broken-hearted, disconnected, non-relational people from all walks of life, colors, sizes, shapes and religions.

With 7 Keys to Love it could take 100 years to do this job of transforming selfishness in business and religion to generosity in the community -- into a world that works for all and works with nature. We are transforming the world with love. One day at a time...

To be part of the 7 Keys to Love Team to transform the world through love contact us.

Lots of love to you and all,

Sandy Hinden, 7 Keys to Love 

“As selfishness and complaint pervert and cloud the mind,
so love with its joy clears and sharpen the vision.”
~ Helen Keller


"Whenever you are confronted with an opponent.
Conquer him with love."
~ Mohandas Gandhi


Martin Luther King on the transformational value of love:
“At the center of non-violence stands the principle of love.”

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

“Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it.
Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it.
Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it.”

“I believe
that unarmed truth and unconditional love
will have the final word in reality.
That is why right, temporarily defeated,
is stronger than evil triumphant.”

“Returning violence for violence multiplies violence,
adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars...
Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”

~ * ~

"I will radiate love and good will to others
that I may open a channel for God's love to come to all."
~ Paramahansa Yogananda

~ * ~

Readers have said about 7 Keys to Love:

“I started 7 Keys to Love last night and am truly awestruck! Your writings, concepts, and concrete steps are so needed in our world, our personal relationships, and ourselves. This book should become a 'classic' in the field.”

~ Judith Alstadter, concert pianist / educator;
spirituality / healing / music workshop leader

"I have not finished reading 7 Keys to Love, however what I have read thus far has really hit home. I have learned so much just from reading the first few pages. I am reading it slowly for several reasons. Mainly because the information that you provide takes time to process. It makes so much sense that I feel I need to read it again to make sure that I have read it correctly. I feel as if it pertains to “just” me. I never thought about it in a “global” sense. I will continue to take my time in reading it. Please know that I am learning so much and enjoying your book. I will keep you posted on my progress. Thank you!"
~ Carolyn Miller, MA, Career Counselor
Five Towns College, Dix Hills, NY

"A new and magnificent literary author, Mr. Sanford Hinden… for the 21st Century. Sanford Hinden has authored his first work, which is destined to become a literary master-piece, making history in the restoration of true, altruistic Love for Planet Earth, by teaching the world his “7 Keys to Love'."

~ Pat Chandler

Global Communication Consultant

LOVE, PEACE, JOY and WISDOM

LOVE, PEACE, JOY and WISDOM are precious. If we had them in the world, we would have PARADISE EARTH. Wisdom comes from a combination of:

1. Understanding the real world
2. Experience
   
3. Thinking things through, defining problems well, understanding the limits of your knowledge, seeking more understanding, reflecting, planning 
   
4. Scanning your sensations and feelings to see what your body and emotions are telling you
5. Seeking guidance from others with experience and your inner wise one
   
6. Clarifying what would be beneficial to you, others, society and nature 
7. Making healthy choices, beneficial decisions
   
8. Action research, getting feedback on the effects of your decision, learning from your mistakes, adjusting your plan and actions to better meet your needs and the needs of others, society and nature.
9. Applying serenity, forgiveness, compassion, love and joy to manage and regulate your emotions

People in the spiritual movements around the world tell us to focus on what we want to see in a a better world. Not to focus on what we don't want, including the military industrial complex, probably the biggest industry in the world, that fuels conflicts globally.

So, as (hopefully) a wise person, I know he limits of my how much I can change the world with 7 Keys to Love today. Yet, one needs to plant trees for future generations. 7 Keys to Love can help many and I hope it will today, and in future generations.

“I finally started your book
7 Keys to Love last night and am truly awestruck!
Your writings, concepts, and concrete steps are so needed
in our world, our personal relationships, and ourselves.
This book should become a 'classic' in the field.”

~ Judith Alstadter

concert  pianist / educator; 
spirituality / healing / music workshop leader

What are we doing with 7 Keys to Love
is transforming our planet...

Lovingly co-creating a world
that works for all and works with nature … 
Healing the self-centered and violent with love …

Peace will come when we have justice …
in a world that works for all and works with nature …
Where business and corporations are transformed from
profit and greed to conscious co-creation …
 
It may take 100 years…  we can do our part today …

I wish you much
LOVE, PEACE, JOY and WISDOM,

~ Sandy Hinden

The Selfish One’s to Paradise Earth

The Selfish Ones come in all sizes, colors, races, religions and nationalities. They want to dominate through possession of money, things, power or status rather than being a respected member of the family, community, region, nation or the world.

The Selfish Ones need to be understood as anyone with an addiction. They have been hurt as children, teens and adults and they misdirected their hurt feelings of anger into selfishness, thinking that if they gained power they would be able to control reality, so others won’t be able to hurt them again. They are lost in their own delusion of grandeur and might.  Once the possessive addiction takes over, they begin to acquire more and more money, and hope their power will grow as they gain more and more money.

Unhealthy or Healthy Power

Unhealthy, "Evil" or "Bad" Power harms other by reinforcing vices, fears and selfishness, it brings out the worst in others. Healthy or Good Power helps others grow in character, it cultivates virtues, love, wisdom and courage and brings out the best in others.

In Leadership Character Traits for a Sustainable World I offer a seminar, workshop and keynote speech to business, government and education leaders. I show that a set of character traits can transform your life, your family, your community and the world for good. I share that we all need to participate in creating local sustainable communities and a sustainable planet. We can create Paradise Earth if we work together. You have to believe it... and take daily actions to make it real...

In the workshop, I help dynamic leaders pop their heads into a deeper dimension of awareness and realize they have immense undeveloped potential to be astounding leaders who can help save our planet from deterioration by adopting higher values and an improved set of skills. 

General Douglas MacArthur put it this way...

“Men since the beginning of time have sought peace... Military alliances, balances of power, leagues of nations, all in turn have failed, leaving the only path to be by way of the crucible of war... We have had our last chance. If we do not now devise some greater and more equitable system, Armageddon will be at our door. The problem is basically theological and involves a spiritual recrudescence (transformation) and improvement of human character that will synchronize with our almost matchless advances in science, art, literature, and all material and cultural developments of the past two thousand years. It must be of the spirit if we are to save the flesh.”

Leadership Character Traits
for a Sustainable World

Skill Set 1 - Consciousness: Character awareness, Loving-kindness, Compassion, Empathy, Forgiveness, Gratitude, Caring, Humility, Optimism, Positive attitude, Sense of community, Appreciation of diversity

Skill Set 2 - Integrity: Courage, Confidence, Enthusiasm, Patience, Honesty, Integrity, Loyalty, Respect, Responsibility, Dependability, Commitment, Communication, Motivation, Ethics, Civic mindedness, Consideration

Skill Set 3 - COLLABORATION: Cooperation, Initiative, Discipline, Leadership, Hard work, Diligence, Fortitude, Perseverance, Effort, Politeness, Self-control, Focus, Solution focused, Positive relationships, Conflict-resolution 
Skill Set 4 - Co-creation:  Sincerity, Courtesy, Teamwork, Creative collaboration, Trustworthiness, Resourcefulness, Justice, Fairness, Wisdom, Taking good care of self, others and nature, Creating collaborative win-win-win

Skill Set 5 - Transformation: Love-in-Action, Planet friendly, Desire to live sustainably, Reducing our carbon emission, Sharing generosity, Conscious co-empowerment and co-creativity, Conscious relating, repairing, recycling and renewing

These attitudes and attributes can build strong character, relationships, sustainable communities and a sustainable world. This workshop explores how we form our values and the leadership character traits needed for a sustainable world. It shows how contemporary values often drive business activity and lead to deterioration of families, communities, society and nature.

We explore a higher set of values and behaviors that can lead to sustainable flourishing, creative communities and a sustainable world.

"The Earth
is our precious garden, our temple, our paradise.
Our passion must be to preserve it, to embellish it,
and to see peace, happiness, and love reign
everywhere, always and forever.

Build your own little paradise wherever you live.
Don't let others pretend to build it for you.
If we all do that, we will make the world a paradise.
One little paradise multiplied by six billion people—
what a wonderful planet that could be!"

 ~ Dr. Robert Muller
Former UN Assistant Secretary-General

Co-Founder, Chancellor Emeritus, UN University for Peace

Author, Paradise Earth 

~ * ~

For Business-Not-as-Usual
For Transformational, Visionary Leaders
in Business, Education and Government 
To arrange a keynote, seminar, workshop or consulting contact:

 Leadership Character Traits
for a Sustainable World

Sanford Hinden, 516-815-4967
SanfordHinden@7KeystoLove.net

Couples Communicating Comfortably About Sex

In continuing my research on sex and love, I found this…

The most common problems facing couples are inhibited sexual desire and differences of sexual desire and styles…and the inability to communicate comfortably about sexuality.

Researchers have found that remedies such as sharing sex fantasies, being verbally explicit during sex, and using porn videos, may make the problem worse for some, adding embarrassment and hopelessness to an unhappy situation.

It can be helpful for a committed couple to identify the sexual style that works best for them.  Researchers have identified 4 styles:

1.    Complementary (roles are equal and flexible)

2.    Traditional (one person initiates sex, the other intimacy)

3.    Emotionally Expressive (adventurous and erotic)

4.    Best Friends (focusing on intimacy and spiritual partnership).

Once a couple identifies their style, it is then helpful for them to communicate in detail to find sexual strategies that are match for their own preferred style.

Couples can then work with the specific vulnerabilities of each style that can prevent sexual desire, and identify different ways of arousal they enjoy.  It is a process of ongoing communication to find what they are comfortable with and enjoy over time…  

I have put many communications tips in my book 7 Keys to Love for couples.  They can get a copy at www.7KeystoLove.net

I hope you will enjoy reading it and you will tell your family and friends to get a copy…  Love, relationship and communication skills can be learned…

Couples may become aware that they really need to learn more about couple’s communication.  Please let them know I am available to help them:

+   learn to express what they are experiencing non-judgmentally

+   learn to share their feelings, values and needs

+   learn to make reasonable requests for what they would like  

I would he happy to help couples you know learn to communicate intimately to enjoy more physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual pleasure.  Please put them in touch with me, before it is too late for them to regain their trust and love for each other.

Sandy Hinden, Couples Communication

The Map of Global Transformation for Planet Earth

To create global transformation to sustainable communities worldwide, humanity needs to quickly go beyond the 4 Major Addictions of

1. Ego-Status Addiction

2. Power Addiction

3. Money Addiction and

4. Sex Addiction

to begin to experience more

* Character Development

* Humility

* Wisdom and

* Love

Contact me to create a
Sustainable Community
Alliance Building Workshop
for your community.

Sandy Hinden, 7 Keys to Love

Centered & Connected to Source

Let's play a game called Centered & Connected to Source.  It's a fun game and a little magical...

For three days, just gently notice when you lose your centeredness and connection to Source... notice the inner state when you are not centered and connected to Source... see what is creating that state... then gently return to centerdness and connectedness to Source by doing the opposite of what is drawing you away from centeredness and connectedness to Source... here are the processes that draw you away from and lead you back to being with Source...

Uncentered & Disconnected from Source	Centered & Connected with Source
Creating complexity	Keeping it simple
Chaos and Drama	Serenity
Confusion	Clarity
Scattered	Present
Disconnection	One love
Fear	Courage
Harshness	Kindness
Being right	Understanding
Judgmental	Compassionate
Resentment	Forgiveness
Angry and unhappy	Inner happiness
Upset	In the flow

I have noticed that all addictions are about not being able to stay connected to Source... when people get scattered, they turn to their substance or addictive process...

Source is the Creator of the Universe (whatever that is), aka, Holy Spirit, Great Spirit, Divine Love, Higher Power...

We can play this game by practicing staying centered and connected to Source as much as possible...

Play the game and do this practice with ease and gentleness... have fun...  you will be gaining loving, joyful, mindfulness each day...

Sandy Hinden ~ 7 Keys to Love

Some Reflections on LOVE and WORK

I was reflecting on LOVE and WORK, two of the most important things in people lives. 

Wise thinking leads us to making daily decisions that create beneficial consequences. Unwise thinking, or impulsive action, often produces unhelpful consequences in the long-run. Sex is so powerful it can drive us to unhelpful consequences.
 
Q. What does a man or woman give up when he or she gives over one's life to pornography or prostitution to earn money? 

A. He or she gives up dignity, though they may not have had much self-respect, self-love to begin with.  

He or she gives up reputation in the community, though they may not have been involved in the community to have much of a reputation. We are increasingly disconnected and non-participatory in our own communities. 

He or she gives up the possibility of being intimately connected in a loving partnership with one person, sharing feelings and needs and supporting each other.    

Q. What is the childhood of a prostitute or pornography actor? Were they abused?

A. More reseach is needed on this important issue. 

Q. Why do men or women turn to prostitutes, pornography or adultery? 

A. They were probably lonely and unloved, as Paul Simon says, “I do declare there were times when I was so lonesome, I took some comfort there.”  They may then become addicted to the thrill of new or illicit sex.

With so many people lacking intimacy skills to create loving relationships, it is no wonder pornography and prostitution seem to be proliferating on the buyers end, even in marriages. 

As overpopulation grows, people are turning to selling drugs and sex. Money becomes their God, rather than God is Love, Mercy or Justice… as some are taught in world religions.     

Q. So how can this trend be reversed?

A. I suggest we create a WORLD LOVE PROGRAM to end loneliness.  Each day tell three people they are wonderful, you love them, or give them a hug. 

I also suggest we create WORLD WORK PROGRAM to give tax credits to businesses to hire people. 

LOVE and WORK… As Billie Holiday sang “God bless the child that's got his own…”  self-love and right livelihood …

Three values I am promoting in all in my speeches, seminars, workshops and coaching with couples, youth, teachers, clergy and leaders in the community and business.
1. Relationship with Others
2. Participation in the Community
3. Love for the Earth

Sandy Hinden, Relationship Coaching

Gangs for Good & Sustainable Character Traits for Leaders

I was having a conversation with a friend about where greed comes from.  We realized that people have a need for security, trust, and love (self-worth, acceptance, connection, belonging, etc.) and they can become addicted to money as a primary strategy for meeting these needs. 

When we grow up in a "Money is God" culture, people learn to quantify what they value, and they can come to see other humans only as commodities, or as means to an end of more money.

I have seen that these people become "non-relational"...  they can become isolated, outside the system, or insulated power-playing individualists within the system – both become non-relational with people and disconnected from community.  

When we are brought up with spiritual, religious or humanist values, we may learn to see the inherent worth and dignity of humans. Seeing the dignity and worth of humans leads people to supporting, encouraging and inspiring others to develop their virtues and actualize their greater human potential for creativity, love and goodness in the community. This is the path to creating meaningful, sustainable communities and loving the Earth  because we become conscious that we receive our life from Earth. We then become relational to all, including Earth.

We need to help youth, and political and corporate leaders, gain these three values of:
1. Relatedness to People
2. Connection to the Community
3. Love for the Earth

I emphasize these three values when I do Gangs for Good workshops for youth and when I do Sustainable Character Traits for Leaders seminars.

To arrange a seminar or workshop contact:

Sanford Hinden

 SanfordHinden@7KeystoLove.net

And the Greatest of These is Love

December 13, 2009, Harlem, New York ~ Sandy Hinden spoke on  7 Keys to Love at A CHRISTMAS SPECIAL of the Harlem Center for Practical Christianity/UNITY IN HARLEM at Vy Higginsen's THE MAMA FOUNDATION for the ARTS http://www.mamafoundation.org/ 149 West 126th Street, NYC. 3:30 - 6:00 PM.

*   *   *

We live in a world where we are inundated with images and words that make us feel stimulated and confused…

We can become addicted to provocative words and images and not be fully conscious, aware and mindful of the sea of words and images we are swimming in each day and night… and their impact on us… 

People and media of all kind can bring us content that:

• creates fear and intimidation in us…
• sets a bad example for young children and teens…
• depicts use of fast food, alcohol, drugs, tobacco, gambling, shopping and travel to make us feel better…
• displays nudity and sexual material to excite us…
• depicts and incites discrimination, harm, yelling, screaming, cursing, aggressiveness, weapons, violence and war to make us feel more powerful…    

Most people can become confused by this inundation of negative words and images…

Many people become heart-broken along the way of life when people and situations disappoint us…

To free ourselves of mental confusion by media and life’s heartbreaking disappointments… many of us turn to a spiritual practice to heal ourselves… we can create open spaces, return to sacred moments, clear out the excess and negativity, and return to a sacred, loving space inside ourselves…

Many of the leaders in our political and business world are broken-hearted… and don’t know it… they try to drive us into competing with each other and even war… I recently jotted down some though and heart-healing affirmations to help a friend who had just had a great loss in her life…  I share them with you …

                                                                                                               

Heart Healing Affirmations

1. I realize that people, places, things and situations may have hurt me…

2. I acknowledge that people and life can be disappointing…

3. I compassionately see that we all make mistakes…

4. I accept that though I may have given my best effort to something or someone, sometimes things don’t go my way… I see that I am still wonderful… and so are many other people…

5. I recognize that many negative people are heart-damaged from feeling neglected, rejected, disappointed, abused, betrayed and abandoned… they may feel unloved…

6. I see that when I am in love with me, and life, and light-hearted, and out of the box with humor, and creativity … I make myself feel more powerful in whatever I am doing…

7. I forgive myself, others and life and let go of the past… the past has passed… I return to My World of Possibilities and I take creative action to create what I now want …

~   *  ~

I recently published 7 Keys to Love… it took me 33 years to complete. From that experience I learned to tell people… Pursue Your Dream and Don’t Give Up!... my dream of publishing 7 Keys to Love took 33 years to fulfill…

  

7 Keys to Love is a book of Love Skills… it takes readers on Love’s Journey within their heart through many Ports of Love to experience self-love, emotional love, physical love, family love, community and world love, love for creativity, and ending this exciting tour of love in an inspiring place of universal love.

~   *   ~

On February 17, during Valentine’s Week as I call it  … I am providing a workshop at East West Living bookstore at 14th Street and 5th Avenue … it is called Embracing the Beloved Workshop… I invite you all to attend… it is very affordable… only $10… In the Embracing the Beloved Workshop you will experience three things… you will learn to:

* Sweetly embrace the Beloved within You…

* Understand the Qualities you Seek in a Beloved Partner… and

* Touch the Sacred Beloved in the Source of All Creation…

You will enjoy these three aspects of the Beloved within The Self, The Lover, and The Source… I assure you, you will enjoy and never forget this quick Journey to True & Lasting Love …

~  *  ~

The message I want to leave you with as we approach Christmas is that Jesus was a Master Teacher of Love…   

This is what the New Testament contains about what Jesus said about Love

“A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one to another.”  John 13:34

“And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him.” 1 John 4:16

“If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen? And this commandment have we from him, That he who loveth God love his brother also.”   1 John 4:20,21

“If ye fulfill the royal law according to the scripture, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself, ye do well.“   James 2:8

“Love is patient; love is kind

and envies no one.

Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude;

never selfish, not quick to take offense.

There is nothing love cannot face;

there is no limit to its faith,

its hope, and endurance.

In a word, there are three things

that last forever: faith, hope, and love;

but the greatest of them all is love.”

1 Corinthians 13

Thus, Love for God and other people is the highest expression of harmony with God. To be a Christian is to be like Christ, who "went about doing good" (Acts 10:38).

Christians, then, are those who, in the spirit of Jesus, go about doing good to all who need their help. They do it by coming back to the community because the love is in their hearts….a Love which shows no desire to exalt itself… but it is dedicated to prospering so one may help the community and the less fortunate… it comes from a healed heart in touch with the Beloved within, the Beloved within others, and the Beloved Source of all Creation.

With a healed heart your loving, conscious, aware and mindful inner wisdom now responds to help heal the community and others in need.

Thus, Love-in-Action-in-the-Community is the greatest way of advancing Heaven within, a Heaven of Love on Paradise Earth… when we work together.

~ Sandy Hinden, 7 Keys to Love  

Couples Communication for Fidelity

Tiger Woods and wife Elin Nordegrin, probably didn’t communicate clearly what they were feeling and needing with each other. This causes disconnection and opening for infidelity. 

Unfortunately, the vast majority of couples don’t communicate their feelings and needs in a clear way.

Couples need to create a respectful space to listen to each other's feelings and make requests for what they want and need. 

Our 7 Keys to Love ~ Couples Communications Workshop helps couples learn these communication and love skills. You can learn these skills. I did. Please contact me to set up a workshop near you. 

The workshop can take place in a school, religious or community organization, yoga center, "Y" or a retreat center near you ... 

Love + Authentic Communication = Couples Fidelity

7 Keys to Love
Couples Communication Skills Workshop

In this workshop, couples learn to communicate respectfully and lovingly with each other. We will cover:

• Positive self-talk
• Going beyond arguments to communicate so problems resolve quickly
• The Johari Window of awareness, feedback and sharing
• The Passive, Passive-Aggressive, Aggressive, and Assertiveness Model of Communication
• Communicating assertively and respectfully
• Compassionate Communication of observations, feelings and values/needs, and making reasonable requests
• Experiencing empathy and compassion
• Calming-down anytime, anywhere, Conflict Resolution
• Transforming fights into fair, respectful disagreements
• Having meaningful family conversations
• Helping each other process past and present hurts to experience healing within and the flourishing of each other’s lives
• Learning the amazing power of appreciation
• Exploring possibilities and co-creating dreams
• Experiencing more love and fun with each other daily
• Going beyond unfulfilling patterns to have fully-creative, co-empowering, loving relationships
• Staying in the magic and joy of appreciating yourself and other
  

SandyHinden@7keystolove.net
7 Keys to Love

Summer 2010 ~ 5-Day Retreat ~ Loving Earth Training in Loving Action

Your sincere expression of unconditional love, appreciation and care have the power to heal, empower and transform. When people do something foolish or offensive, calmly let go of your being upset, your judgments and blame. Remind them of their positive attributes, strengths, qualities, deeds and acts of kindness. Share your love and appreciation with sincerity and emotionally welcome them back into the “circle of life and love” with your warmth and joy. You can help them shift their frame of mind, outlook and emotions, which ripples into their family, community and the world. ~ Sandy Hinden

*   *   *

If you would like to be part of a creative team to develop a Summer 2010 ~ 5-Day Retreat ~ Loving Earth Training in Loving Action (LETILA) please contact me.

Pass this note along to people who would be interested in being Interns and Volunteers.

This training will take place in an affordable, comfortable setting, conducive to learning, sharing and community building. If you have a suggestion for a location, let me know

The training will increase participants capacity to be in conscious-creative-love to do local, national and global healing and transformation work

The Loving Earth Training in Loving Action will include:

1. Training in Loving, Creative Action ~ Introduction

2. The 7 Keys to Love

3. The Positive Power of Loving Communication

4. Loving Social Change and the Beloved Community: local, national and global

5. The application of Love-in-Action in healing, reconciliation, community-building and transforming hate and violence into consciousness-love and creative, sustainable community development

6. Loving Action Reports: The 7 Keys to Love Community (co-creating www = wealth with wellbeing), Children's Mother Earth Gardens, University for Love, other projects

7. Creative Citizen Diplomacy, local, national and global

INTERNS & VOLUNTEERS
can reach me through
7KeystoLove